


Christened

by DhampirsDrinkEspresso



Series: Redemption [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A marriage proposal but only kind of, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, Multi, OT4, Polyamory, Posting the Ending first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23530117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DhampirsDrinkEspresso/pseuds/DhampirsDrinkEspresso
Summary: Kylo Ren is dead.Ben Solo is long gone.He can't be either of those men again.So he needs a name. The trouble is knowing which to choose.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Finn/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn/Kylo Ren/Rey
Series: Redemption [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696054
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	Christened

**Author's Note:**

> There is a possibility of more shorts in this universe, skipping around in time a bit. I definitely have ideas. Unfortunately I have too many ideas and not enough time to write them. Rating is probably higher than it needs to be but just in case I add more later...

**chris·ten**

**_verb_ **

**past tense: christened; past participle: christened**

**give to (someone or something) a name that reflects a notable quality or characteristic.**

**INFORMAL -** **use for the first time.**

He needs a name.

Kylo Ren is dead.

That might be who he _was_ but it is decidedly not who he _is_ anymore, and he doesn’t _want_ to be, ever again.

Ben Solo is gone. He can’t be Ben Solo any more than he can be Kylo Ren.

So, he needs a name.

His mother still calls him Ben, thinks of him as the sullen, angry child he once was. Refuses to think of the raging monster of a man he became. She blames herself.

So, he lets her call him Ben, if she wants to.

_But not Ben Solo._

Rey calls him Ben most of the time, at least in her head. That’s his mother’s influence. But she doesn’t think of him as Ben Solo anymore than she thinks of him as Kylo Ren. To her, he is simply Ben, like she is Rey.

For her, he can be Ben.

_But not Ben Solo._

Finn and Poe had taken to calling him Ren at first, but they waited, cautious, just needing him to tell them when he decided, and he had told them, _Ben._ Call him _Ben_.

_But not Ben Solo._

Rey says she needs a name, too. So does Finn. It’s about belonging, about family.

Unlike Ben, they have been discussing it with _everyone_.

He knows Rey is thinking about Skywalker, and he thinks it suits her, even if it leaves a sour taste in his mouth, a sense of failure, the crushing weight of a broken legacy. For Rey, it works. Rey is pure and light and perfect. She can be a Skywalker. She _is_ a Skywalker, moreso than he has ever been. Even if she doesn’t take it as her name.

Ben could never be a Skywalker. Not anymore than he can be a Solo or an Organa or any other of the family names weighed down by generations of expectation and duty.

Rose has offered Rey her own name.

Rey Tico.

It’s cute (not a word he ever would have expected to use, about anything). When Rey protested, Rose said Paige would have been proud to share their name with another sister, with _Rey_. Rose said she has claimed Rey as a sister, no matter what name she picks. Rey cried that night, in the quiet safety of their crowded bed, and they had held her, Ben and Poe and Finn, soothed her, dried her tears and sworn they were hers forever, and she was theirs, no matter what name she chose.

Even Tico.

She said she’d never had a family before, never knew what it felt like—what it should feel like—until now.

Ben has tried shouldering someone else’s legacy. He can admit now that he is selfish; he wants to forge his own path without that weight on him. A strong name, a family name. He wants that. Just not the rest of it.

Finn already knows, deep down, what he will choose, but he waits for it to be offered. He wants a name, freely given, not taken. He wants to be Finn Dameron. In everything but name, he already is.

Finn and Poe and Rey.

They are Ben’s life now. His center, his balance on the knife’s edge between light and dark.

He knows it isn’t fair. He shouldn’t put that responsibility on them.

But he has, just the same, and they have taken on the mantle willingly. He trusts them in a way he has never trusted anyone. He trusts them to hold him when the pain is too much. He trusts them to wipe away the tears he wasn’t even sure he could shed any longer.

Most of all, he trusts that, when the inevitable comes, when he breaks and he is a threat to everyone around him, they will STOP him.

He knows it will destroy them all, if they have to kill him to make him stop. But he also trusts them to piece themselves back together, to go on. To be Finn and Poe and Rey again, after he is gone.

Ben is roused from his thoughts by the approach of one of his…well, by Poe.

He needs a name for that too, for what the three of them are to him. For what the four of them are together.

He thinks maybe _partners…_ or maybe Rey is right…maybe simply _family_.

He doesn’t turn, doesn’t indicate he’s noticed he isn’t alone anymore, but Poe knows.

It’s almost as if all four of them are bonded, now, instead of just Ben and Rey. So attuned, so _aware_ of one another.

He isn’t _alone_ anymore.

Poe stops beside him, close enough to touch but far enough one or both of them would have to reach out.

Ben lets out a breath, relaxing just the slightest bit. Poe is here. Poe won’t let him do anything he will regret. Poe won’t let him hurt anyone.

Not even himself.

“They’ve both decided. Finn and Rey. They’ve picked their surnames.”

Ben nods, swallowing. Knowing that it’s settled, knowing they have chosen, suddenly he _knows_ what he wants his name to be.

He knows who he is _now,_ and he wants—needs—his name to reflect that.

He yearns to be part of something bigger, to belong.

But like Finn, he wants it to be freely offered and he knows it won’t be.

“Finn picked Dameron?”

He glances over, just enough to make out Poe in his peripheral vision, barely catches the shy dip of his head, the flush on his cheeks.

“And Rey?” He waits. Expecting Skywalker, or maybe Organa. She’d even considered Solo, but then she’d _looked_ at him, made a pained face, and shrugged it off.

He wouldn’t begrudge her the Solo name. She would carry it well, better than he ever could. Better than he ever did. But he is glad she batted it aside, selfishly warmed by her consideration of his pain.

“Also Dameron.” This time Ben turns, shock plain on his face.

“Yeah…it surprised me too.” Poe gives a forced chuckle, eyes darting anywhere but at Ben.

“That’s…it’s good. A good fit. Rey Dameron.” It works; he likes the way it rolls off his tongue, warm and soft with a hard edge.

Poe still won’t look at him, his Force signature colored with pride, and passion, and streaks of anxiety.

Fear, even.

Then resolve.

“I know you said you can’t be Ben Solo again. I understand why. But…you can maybe, if you want, you could be…Ben Dameron?”

He feels the shock of it like a blow, stumbles back one step. How? WHY?

He thinks maybe he imagined it, or maybe he wanted to hear it so badly, maybe he even made it happen.

But no.

He is controlled.

Collared.

So, if Poe is offering…

“I want,” he breathes.

Poe’s fingers flutter against his hand, a tentative brush of skin. He takes Poe’s hand, no hesitation, as the two of them stare at the setting suns, painting streaks of peach and crimson across the sky of this world, standing in a reverent silence as the colors darken to indigo, then velvet black studded with diamond stars.

Ben squeezes Poe’s fingers, signaling that, finally, he is ready.

“Come on, let’s go home,” Poe says, leading him back to their quarters, the home where the other half of them wait.

Finn and Poe and Rey and _Ben._

Ben Solo is gone.

Kylo Ren is dead.

It’s time for Ben Dameron to _live._

With them, with Finn and Poe and Rey beside him, the thinks maybe now he _can_.


End file.
